Her Story

The short version

We discovered we were pregnant in February 2004. At first, we weren't really sure how it was even possible since I was on a certain medication that prevents suprise pregnancies. But, lo and behold, this medication is only 99% reliable and you have to be consistent. I happened to miss a few days of this medication while I was in the hospital fighting menengitis(a story worthy of a post at a later time), not to mention all of the antibiotics that I was on lessened the strength of my B.C. Can you just see Heavenly Father plotting against us here? Seriously...it was nothing short of a miracle that was unexpected.

Though we were extremely grateful and happy, we couldn't help but be worried about what was in store for us the next 9 months. All we had been hearing from doctors (a few dozen of them) that a pregnancy would kill me, I wouldn't be able to carry the baby to term, it would shorten my life expectancy, the baby would be born prematurely and have issues etc.,.

In the beginning the pregnancy was smooth. I found out that we were expecting a girl at 17 weeks. She was healthy and just perfect! Around 25 weeks of pregnancy, things started to get tough. London was getting bigger and putting more pressure of my diaphram. It seemed like I couldn't even catch my breath while sitting down and relaxing. I was constantly out of breath. Walking was becoming difficult, I had to do things at a snails pace. Climbing stairs took me at least 10 minutes. I was put on 5 liters of oxygen continuously. It helped, though still my oxygen stats were low 90's. To sustain a pregnancy you need to have 94% oxygen stats constantly. The weeks went by and I was put on bed rest. I knew that bed rest would help further the pregnancy and in turn give my little girl a better start in life, but bed rest was impossible. I had a two year old at the time that was so active and needing her mom. My pulmonolgist predicted I would deliver around 30 weeks, but lo and behold I actually went further. We made it to 32 weeks.

August 26, 2004 I was sent to labor and delivery to be induced. My oxygen stats were going below 90% even with 5 liters of oxygen drying out my nostrils. I was given steroid shots to help London's premature lungs but I think the steroids went to help my lungs instead. I was imediatly given an epidural because they didn't know how I'd be able to breath if I had major labor pains. The epidural took 3 times because I have a ligament that covers my spine. Every time he'd push it through you could hear it pop and it hurt like CRAZY!!! I think the epidural guy was feeling the pressure because he finally just kept pushing hard and didn't care too much about the pain that I was in. The epidural worked, but only on one side of my body (weird).

So, I labor all day. I didn't dialate. I labored all night, but didn't dialate either. The next morning, we discuss a c-section (of which I wanted from the beginning, but mid wife insisted that I could deliver). They give me my epidural medication (remember, only half of me is numb) and send me to get a c-section right away. I don't remember much from here on out...I just remember the pain. It hurt so bad. I remember moving my legs in pain. I remember feeling like I could breath so much better when they got her out, but I couldn't hear her cry. I kept asking Jeff "why isn't she crying." "Is she okay." Then everything started going in circles and I remember feeling so warm and tingly. They knocked me out. This all happened in a matter of minutes. Jeff told me that they brought London to see me, but I don't remember that.

So, I wake up in a room all by myself. I have no idea where my baby is or if she is okay. My family is no where. Finally a nurse comes in and informs me that I am in the ICU and that she will send in my family. I am monitored all day. I don't get to see my baby until 10:30 that night because London is having difficulties.

London was born at 9:06 a.m. on August 27, 2004. She was born on the exact day that I had my car accident 9 years previously. The car accident...the whole reason behind my pregancy difficulties, the reason I am not supposed to be pregnant, the reason I'd die if I were ever pregnant. She was born on that exact day. See where I am getting...I totally triumphed over that day. I will never look at August 27 as the day where my life changed so dramatically that I am now considered handicapped, I will never look at that day as a sad day. She made that day a reason to celebrate.

Back to the story...The very next morning, doctors lined up to check me out and see how I was doing. I couldn't believe my ears when they told me to NEVER do this again. You will not survive another pregnancy. I remember looking at one of them and saying "are you serious, can you not see that we both survived this pregnancy."

London was a healthy 5 lb. 7 oz. (pretty big for a 32 weeker). She stayed in the NICU for a month where we were allowed to visit her at least 4 times a day. It was tough. I felt a lot of guilt during that time. Even when she came home, she had oxygen on. She was a fighter though and kicked the oxygen habit right before Christmas. She looks just like Jeff, though now every once in a while I get a comment that she looks a lot like me.