Sullivan's Adoption Story

So, here goes...this is long so bear with me.

Monday November 17, 2008
We take off early in the morning for a 7 hour drive to Washington state. We are extremely happy that gas prices are below $2. I love road trips, but this one was mixed with anticipation so I didn't get to relax and enjoy it.
We were also very blessed to be able to stay with friends while in Washington which also cut costs.

Tuesday November 18, 2008
The day that Sullivan was supposed to be born. They started Kylee's induction early in the morning. Kylee and I have been communicating only through e-mail up until this point. From what I understood, she wanted us to be at the hospital to bond with the baby, but that she didn't want contact with the baby. I guess I am terrible at "assuming" things, but I really didn't think that we'd see Kylee pregnant. I thought that we'd be waiting in the waiting room the entire time and that the nurse would come and tell us when the baby was born. So, when we walked into this very small hospital and was told by the nurse that we could go see Kylee, I immediately broke down in tears. We all walked into Kylee's room and found her with her Mom and sister Ashley. I was embarrassed because you could tell I had been crying. I probably looked like an idiot standing their blubbering. But, they immediately put us at ease and we joked, laughed and shared stories most of the day. Ashley even taught Kamryn and London how to knit and Kamryn got everyone to play Go Fish with her.

Around lunch time my parents arrived and were able to help us out where needed (taking everyone out to eat, watching the girls for us etc.,.) They were wonderful and I appreciate them so much! My Mom (bless her sweetness) made sure everyone knew how much Kylee meant to us. She really said what I wanted to say but I was too scared to say. My Mom even brought up the fact that Kylee chose to do this before she came to earth. Every time I play this scenario out in my mind, tears come easily.
Time went by smoothly and quickly. Unfortunately, at the end of the day Kylee hadn't dilated and her doctor felt it best if she rest through the night so that they could try again in the morning.

Wednesday November 19, 2008
It was a restless night for me. Kylee had an ultrasound which revealed that the baby weighed 9 lbs. 4 oz. She again labored most of the day as they tried different things to help her dilate. Nothing worked so Kylee was given two options 1). C-section or 2). Go home and come back in a week to try again. She decided on a C-section because the baby was so big.

At this point, we had been waiting for so long that it just didn't seem real that we'd see our baby within the hour. After they took Kylee for the C-section, that is when I really started pacing and biting my nails. Everyone thought the baby was a boy, but I kind of just brushed it aside. If you can't tell the sex of the baby during the 20 week ultrasound then the baby is most likely a girl, in my opinion. We both really wanted a boy. In Jeff's family we have 7 girls with one on the way and only 2 boys. In my family we have 8 girls with one on the way and only 2 boys (Monte and Misty don't know the gender of their baby just yet). We are definitely lacking testosterone :).

Okay, back to the story...
Kylee had been gone maybe 20 minutes when a nurse walked in and asked us to change rooms. We all left (16 people total, lots of support for Kylee) and as we were walking to the other room, Kylee's nurse announced "It's a BOY!". This moment will be frozen in my memory forEVER! I did a couple Tiger Woods fist pumps and then the Icky Shuffle, according to Jeff. I just remember running in place while crying uncontrollably on my Mom's shoulder and then I moved into Jeff's chest (yep, I am that short). I was so unbelievably happy. I am sure I was on display and thinking back I am a little embarrassed by my happy dance, but I don't regret it.
Baby Sullivan arrived in the tiny nursery. He was adorable. Thirty minutes later, we had a placement where Sharon (Kylee's Mom) placed Sullivan in my arms. It was very emotional. She told me she knew that this was the right decision, that he was with the right family and that she was confident that we will do a great job raising him. My heart goes out to her/to them. We focus on adoption being difficult on the birth mom, but it really does affect everyone.

We got some alone time with Sullivan and then we left to get some much needed rest.

Thursday November 20, 2008
We arrived at the hospital early. We were given a room where we could bond with Sullivan. The doctor came and checked him out and gave him the go ahead to leave. Wow...that was fast. But, before we could take him home we needed the caseworker to come to the hospital to release us. At this point, I don't think that Kylee had seen Sullivan (not sure though) and again, I thought that she didn't want to see him for fear of it being to difficult. But, we got a text later that morning telling us that Kylee wanted to see all of us. We happily went, but in the back of my mind I am slightly worried. It was a great day. We hung out with them most of the day, though we tried to take off often so that they could have some alone time with Sullivan. The caseworker came and left by lunch. We could take Sullivan, but Kylee and her family need more time with him (which we totally understood). So, since Sullivan is already released from the hospital, we got to take him home for the night but the birth family wanted us to bring him back in the morning. That first night was fun. We just laid in bed as a family and loved him. He was quite awake and studying all of our faces. I didn't sleep much that night. I awoke quite often to lay my hand on his chest to make sure he was still breathing.

Friday November 21, 2008
My Mom (whose at home now) called and let us know that they wanted us to drop off the baby and let them have the day with him. The same thing happened with Kamryn's birth mom, so it didn't come as a shock to us...we understood. So, Jeff and I went to the nearest big city and spent a small fortune on mini adult looking baby clothing. It was fun and the girls needed the break from the hospital. We were to go back at 8 o'clock to pick up Sullivan for the final time. We walked in the room with a prayer in our hearts. I never know what to say in moments like these, nor can I control my emotions. Kylee asked to say goodbye to Sullivan alone...yep, I started crying all over again. We were out in the hallway waiting, Sharon went in to check on Kylee after a bit and then came out with the car seat and Sullivan. Can you just imagine how difficult this would be? I can't. It breaks my heart and I often feel guilty about...

How my greatest Joy...

caused such pain and sorrow. :(






Kylee, not only do I tell Sullivan how much you love him, but now the world knows.